Love Yourself As Your Neighbor

30^th Sunday Ordinary Time – Cycle A

Exodus 22: 20-26; 1 Thessalonians 1: 5c-10; 

Matthew 22: 34-40

 

Today we hear what is often referred to as the Two Great Commandments: “You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Love is all you need. Love is all you need to give honor and glory to God. Love is all you need to give respect and comfort to neighbor. As Jesus said, “The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” Love takes care of everything. It all seems so simple, doesn't it?

There have been tons of books written over the course of history that examine these two greatest precepts of loving God and loving neighbor. But there is one component of the equation that is often missed. “You shall love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.” Loving yourself is the part that causes so many of us to struggle.

It should be a given that everyone loves themselves – right? But it's just not that simple. We grow up hearing so many negative messages – you're not smart enough, you're not tall enough, you are overweight, you are unattractive, you are lazy. We are bombarded with these images daily in our homes, in our classrooms, in our workplaces, yes even in our church. You are good if you look this way, think this way, act this way. You are bad if you don't. With all of these images, it's a wonder that anyone could love themselves. If you can't love yourself, you can't possibly love others in the way that Jesus intends.

I was in a music store the other night and I saw in the newly released section the 20^th anniversary edition of the album “Nevermind” by a band called Nirvana. I loved that record when it came out. The album went to the top of the charts and the band was, for a time, the biggest band in the world. Three years later, their lead singer and songwriter, Kurt Cobain, committed suicide. Now I don't claim to be an expert on the life and death of Nirvana's leader, but if I had to guess what his problems were, I would guess that they were rooted in this inability to love oneself. I don't make this statement lightly. I say it because I experienced these same feelings myself.

When I was sixteen, I was involved in a serious car accident. I was speeding and I lost control of the vehicle. I hit a concrete embankment. I punctured my lung, broke both bones in my lower right arm, broke my right femur and my right ankle. I was in traction for three weeks and in a wheelchair for a couple of months. I was the lucky one. A friend who was sitting in the passenger seat was killed on impact. In addition to the physical pain that I was enduring, I had to struggle with the reality that my actions had caused the death of my friend.

In the weeks and months that followed, my family and my doctors and nurses took care of me. I received loads of cards and gifts from people who were hoping and praying for my speedy recovery. I knew that I was loved. But in the darkness of night, when I was alone with my thoughts, I didn't love myself. I knew that others loved me, but I couldn't love myself. I knew that others forgave me, but I couldn't forgive myself. I can remember staring into the mirror and seeing a monster looking back at me. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

I don't think I'm alone here. I'm willing to bet that many of you have felt like this at one time or another. Maybe some of you are struggling with these emotions now. I wish I could hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be alright. I wish that I could tell you how to overcome these feelings, but I don't have all the answers. I can tell you what worked for me. A few months after my accident, I went on a christian awakening retreat with others from my class at St. Xavier. I'll be honest here, I wasn't expecting much, but several people encouraged me to try it, so I did. It was incredible. In those three days, I was able to open up to others and unburden my soul. I found that I was not alone. I rediscovered God's love for me, and more important, I was able to forgive myself and learn to love myself again.

I wish that I could tell you that it's been easy from that point but it hasn't. Some days it's easy to love myself, and some days – not so much. On days when I slip, it helps to remember that I was created in the image of God. God created the heavens and the earth. God created the trees and the flowers. God created everything and saw that it was good – and I was created in God's image. I have my faults and my shortcomings. But I am the image of God - and so are you.

Loving God and each other are our greatest laws – Jesus said so - but it all begins with loving yourself. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Can you look closely enough to see the face of God reflected in your eyes? If you cannot, that should be your goal – that should be your destination. Once you can see the face of God in your mirror, loving your neighbor as yourself as Christ intended becomes possible.

Deacon Darryl J. Diemer

30th Sunday in Ordinary Time

October 23, 2011